You may know me well... You may not know me very well at all, but that does not matter. My life is an open book to anyone who wants to take the time to read it... So prepare yourself because I am going to be bluntly honest and truthful on my "blog" because it helps me to clear all of this garbage out of my mind and hopefully I will be able to sleep again.
My life has gone through many drastic changes in the past year... I went from Ozark Christian College at the end of my sophomore year to Camp War Eagle where I worked in the summer. While there I fell madly in love with a girl named Andria and subsequently moved to Fayetteville, Arkansas to be with her in the fall... (yes, I know many of you are cringing because you never move to a different state for a girl... well I didn't know that At the time) I spent from August to February in Fayetteville and loved it, mostly because I got to spend everyday with the girl I had proclaimed to be the love of my life and best friend and I spent the most amazing 5 months falling In love and spending time with a girl who was everything I could have ever hoped for... but like most love stories sadly enough January 14Th it ended, very much not by my choice... and for the first time in my life I had been broken up with... So after bearing a month in Fayetteville without her, on about 6 hours notice after a very very rough Valentines day I packed up all of my things and literally threw the back of my Pathfinder ( It was impressive considering the amount of stuff I own and the size of my car) and made my way back to the Valley with my tail tucked between my legs thinking that my beloved Arizona could fix me...
Have you ever held a place in such high regard that it seems no matter what happened to your life you could retreat to that place and be happy?... Well Arizona was that to me.. It was my home, the people that I loved where there... The streets I learned to drive on... my favorite burger joints, and hangout spots... and make out spots... (I am just being honest!) This place was untouchable... or so I thought... I went back got a job and was living in my hometown... but I had a heartbreaking realization.... This was no longer my home... My home was 1187 miles away with the girl that I AM in love with... and even In-n-out burger couldn't change that... Do you know how surreal it is to find out the place you have called home most of your life is not home any more and that your parents that have taken care of you all of your life, and have fixed up your cuts and bruises and helped you come out of your childhood in relatively one piece can't fix your broken heart... and imagine my surprise when this California born, Seattle and Phoenix raised West Coast snob realized that his home was in Arkansas... The butt of all Midwestern jokes... Yea... I must really be crazy In love... So I did what in my mind seemed logical... (Which may in fact be illogical... you never know with these things) I put in my notice at work and one week later I packed up the same car I trekked home to Arizona in and made my way back to Arkansas... and I didn't find it necessary to tell Andria that I was coming back... (Yea... great thinking slick) and lets just say there was no welcoming party for Mr. Stein here that is for sure... So after quickly realizing that I wasn't as welcomed as I would have like to be in the place that holds my heart... I set up camp where I went to college about 90 miles away In Joplin... (You thought your life was confusing and complicated.. HA!) I am currently sleeping on my best friends couch and will be living here until likely next December when I make my way back to California (barring a miraculos change of circumstance where a certain girl waltzes back into my life)... So it is safe to say I am kind of a risk taker and It doesn't always work out the way I would like it to... however I have faith that because God recognizes that I try so gosh darn hard and because of the pain that I have endured he will give me what my heart truly desires and that still is Andria... ( and I will begrudgingly accept it if it is not what he wants, but Jacob got to wrestle with God and get what he wanted so wgy not me... right?) even though that may be a long long time from now... and there is lots of things that have to be worked out... She just is the girl who makes my heart the happiest, and shes the girl I wake up thinking about... she is the most unique and amazing girl that I have ever been around (and regrettably I have been around more then my far share) and I would go to the ends of the earth for her... and If you don't believe me your an idiot because I already have gone back and forth twice across the country... what Is a few more miles and continents... So in synopsis... All of this information does in fact mean that I may be mildly crazy... and I accept that because that is who Justin Stein is... I am all or nothing, In or out, will take it to the max and push what ever limits I have to get what I want... and I am quite sure that's why people love me... because if I love you there is nothing that I wouldn't do for you... So say a prayer for me... because I am not going to lie and tell you that I am not in pain... because I am... and there is few nights that I get restfull sleep because I am my mind wont shut off about all of this... I can use all the help I can get... And you can take my word, I will be there to help you when you need it... Goodnight, and if you get a chance listen to FUN.'s new song "At least I'm Not As Sad as I Use To Be.." It is soo choice... I highly reccomend it... (Yea.. That me parting from you with a ferris Bueller-ism, yes I am that cool)
The never boring,
Justin Stein
